imyaranaikaplz

just wanted to let ya guys know IM OK!!!!

standing ground at my room even when i leave because she knows i want her out

always following me around and watching me so i cant do anything

i caught her digging through my bag and room and when i caught she she started screaming

when i think about it and how they hate me (some even say i should be dead), they're not my family anymore.

i tell her that i am going to cut her off once i hit college and that i never had a family or anyone to turn to for years, she does not take me seriously. she either tries to joke it off, make it sound less serious, ignore it, or try to still fit herself into the picture

i am usually a contained person but she can get me bawling after pestering me for hours. and when i am screaming at her to leave me alone for once, pull my bed over the door to keep her from coming into my room, etc. she just STANDS there and starts joking things off. she's VERY unresponsive, like, always has that stoic expression of slight amusement even when i am serious to the point of crying. i am absolutely creeped out, i cant believe i've been dealing with this for years.

if she doesnt take me seriously now, then there is no chance that she will take me seriously ever.

and yea, she's STILL trashtalking the college of my choice and talking about going to other colleges even after application time was over like 3 months ago. drop it already ugh

just one more fucking month and i am out of this place

mom rambles on about alien sex and how devils sexed human women to create aliens and "nephelims"
i lock my door

mom tried to open door and used the "i gave birth to you" card
i told my mom that i never asked to be born and that she should've aborted me like how she aborted my other sibling (i was gonna say i was the reincarnation of the aborted child but i didnt want to further mindfuck an already mentally fucked up woman)

but mom wasnt sad at all lol. i was shocked a little but then not really because my mom is the one who constantly told me that i should kill myself and go to hell





mom wants to go to IHOP (international house of prayer, i thought it was as a restaurant) and forcefully signed me up a month before letting me know
i tell her that i am not going whatsoever. i heard that alot of cases where people went and come back as a total mess. like this, which is totally similar to my own experience with a local cult church: starscrowned.blogspot.com/2011…
aside from the shitstorms, accusations of being "possessed by the devil", and 'earning points in heaven', etc etc, she says that the place is full of the holy spirit because there are "signs and wonders"

jesus if i wanted to see some magic shows i would just go to the circus, which is MUCH cheaper

then when she caught me paying for my dorm housing thru phone, she went APESHIT about how "we're in a financial crisis" and that i am wasting money, etce etc and that we dont have money for college, etc
come on if we're so poor then why the fuck is she signing me up for a $600 "salvation retreat". i bet that it cost WAY more to send the whole family on the "retreat" for two weeks than pay for my dorm for a whole year because the retreat cost like $1000 per person
if we need money she should PAY HER BILLS ON TIME AND STOP TRYING TO EAT AT EXPENSIVE RESTAURANTS

anyway she has been buying (literally) into more and more tapes, videos, sermons, and retreats that are more expensive and more cultish. i called IHOP and explained to them that my mom has no permission to sign me up, that she is irrational due to stress, and that our family is having a financial crisis. Being the money hungry cult that they are, they're like "lolno if she gives us money we're keeping it"

i am scared for my inheritance.

she sits in my room to make sure that i watch it and not do anything else. she brings a bag of chips and sprawls on my bed and seems creepily calm and happy as rick joyner goes hysterical about the japan earthquake and the doomsday